Ilan Ben Or grew up in Los Angeles. After having served as a combat soldier, he lives in Tel Aviv, volunteers in a bedouin community and dates Netta Barzilai.

When his high school classmates in Los Angeles were losing sleep over college applications, Ilan Ben Or already decided his education would have to wait. An American citizen with family roots in Israel, Ben Or decided he wanted to serve in the IDF.

He immigrated to Israel in 2012 to join Garin Tzabar, a flagship program of The Jewish Agency for Israel, that transitions new immigrants directly into army service. The program boasts some 400 participants a year, mostly from North America, but also from Russia, France, Australia, South Africa and other countries, who are drafted for two to three years of mandatory service.

With families thousands of miles away, these newly arrived soldiers are considered by the army as “Lone Soldiers,” but they are not alone. The program matches each with a local community to provide a home away from home. For Ben Or it was Nir Yitzhak, a kibbutz in the western Negev just off the Gaza border.

“My parents were crazy worried, but I fell in love with the place,” he said. “The kibbutz was a family to me. From warm meals to emotional support, they gave me everything I could possibly need.”

Although Ben Or felt so at ease with his new kibbutz family, he felt it was important not to confine himself to American expats but to merge into Israeli society. And merge he did, to judge by his girlfriend: Netta Brazilai. The Israeli musician became an international sensation when she won the Eurovision Song Contest, representing Israel with “Toy,” which the New York Times called “a defiant anthem about female empowerment.”

By some measures, Ben Or is the ultimate Israeli. He served in the army, lives in a trendy neighborhood in Tel Aviv, and commutes to Beer Sheva to study engineering at Ben Gurion University. He also works part-time at the local office of Intel, the world’s biggest chipmaker, in Kiryat Gat, about halfway between home and school. And of course, he is also planning to start a digital media business.

And of course, his now world-famous girlfriend.

When Ben Or met Brazilai in a bar in Tel Aviv, she was already a star. “I didn’t approach her for a selfie,” he said. “I knew who she was. I identified with her message and everything she stands for and wanted to talk to her. So I just went up to her, asked to buy her a drink, and we started talking. Our connection was immediate, and I felt the chemistry between us. We are both very creative, and we both have a world-view that’s a little different.”

Brazilai’s big moment took place in Lisbon, Portugal, last May, and her victory is bringing the international pop competition to Tel Aviv this spring.

Juggling work and school, he also finds time to volunteer, in a Bedouin village near Beer Sheva. As a freshman he joined Choosing Tomorrow, another Jewish Agency program that encourages students to contribute to their local communities. Participants undergo extensive leadership training and are expected to lead social change initiatives.

Though they give so much, the participants themselves receive a great deal, Ben Or emphasized. “I was looking for a community that would understand me and my experience as an Ole,” he said, referring to the Hebrew word for an immigrant to Israel. “Choosing Tomorrow fit perfectly. They have given me a sense of belonging, as well as the mental strength to face the challenges any immigrant must face.”

His family is still in the U.S., and in between army and school, he spent six months in America, only to soon realize where his heart truly belonged, back in Israel.